Even though the 2006 Stanford Football season ended only 48 hours ago, the minions at the Arrillaga Family Sports Center are already hard at work preparing for next season. Specifically, the Football marketing department has already come up with a short list of slogans for the 2007 season. You may remember the 2006 slogan - it was "Hi-Def Football: So Close, You Can Hear the Players Quitting on the Bradford M. Freeman Director of Football". Anyway, according to my source in the department, these are the finalists for slogans for next year's football team.
5. Stanford Football 2007: Because We Couldn't Fire All the Players
4. Stanford Football 2007: Third Time's A Charm
3. Stanford Football 2007: We ARE Nebraska
2. Stanford Football 2007: Return to Relevance
1. Stanford Football 2007: New Players, New Coach, Same Old Lousy Results
Monday, December 4, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Top 8 Lawrence Hill Headlines/Comments
8. After a Law puts up 15 and 9, keying a Stanford win over Oregon St, The Daily headline reads "Stanford's Law Schools the Beavers."
7. After blocking a career high 7 shots against the University of California, East Bay pro am team, a caption to a Law Hill block reads, "AJ Diggs can't escape the long arms of the Law."
6. Cal coach Ben Braun, during a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Cardinal, shakes his head on the bench asking himself, "how can we keep getting rejected by Stanford Law?" Ryan Anderson, ofcourse, has the answer, "we're Cal students coach, we're used to it." (ZING!!!)
5. In the preview for the first round of the 2008 NCAA tourney, one magazine, analyzing the #15 Vermont vs. #2 Stanford game asks, "can the Hilltoppers top Hill?"
4. After Stanford wins it's 6th straight Pac 10 game to close the 2006-07 season, the San Francisco Chronicle publishes a picture of an excited Law Hill. The caption? "Cardinal Law."
3. After getting bumped around by the Lopez twins, and dunked on by Lawrence Hill for an entire 40 minutes, Glen "Big Baby" Davis, the star of the #3 seed LSU Tigers finally concedes to reporters, "I fought the Law, and the law won."
2. After averaging a triple double his senior year, Lawrence Hill becomes the #1 overall draft pick in the NBA draft. The next day, US News reports "Stanford's Law Rated #1."
1. During the 2006-07 season, Hill drops 32 and 13 as the Cardinal visit Pauley and upset the #1 ranked Bruins - reclaiming Pauley as Maples south, and restoring Stanford's dominance of UCLA's home court. The headline on ESPN 15 minutes after the game reads, "LA Law." ... Ok it probably reads "Cardinal Rules" ... but seriously guys, we're tired of that one. Try "LA Law" ... please?
7. After blocking a career high 7 shots against the University of California, East Bay pro am team, a caption to a Law Hill block reads, "AJ Diggs can't escape the long arms of the Law."
6. Cal coach Ben Braun, during a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Cardinal, shakes his head on the bench asking himself, "how can we keep getting rejected by Stanford Law?" Ryan Anderson, ofcourse, has the answer, "we're Cal students coach, we're used to it." (ZING!!!)
5. In the preview for the first round of the 2008 NCAA tourney, one magazine, analyzing the #15 Vermont vs. #2 Stanford game asks, "can the Hilltoppers top Hill?"
4. After Stanford wins it's 6th straight Pac 10 game to close the 2006-07 season, the San Francisco Chronicle publishes a picture of an excited Law Hill. The caption? "Cardinal Law."
3. After getting bumped around by the Lopez twins, and dunked on by Lawrence Hill for an entire 40 minutes, Glen "Big Baby" Davis, the star of the #3 seed LSU Tigers finally concedes to reporters, "I fought the Law, and the law won."
2. After averaging a triple double his senior year, Lawrence Hill becomes the #1 overall draft pick in the NBA draft. The next day, US News reports "Stanford's Law Rated #1."
1. During the 2006-07 season, Hill drops 32 and 13 as the Cardinal visit Pauley and upset the #1 ranked Bruins - reclaiming Pauley as Maples south, and restoring Stanford's dominance of UCLA's home court. The headline on ESPN 15 minutes after the game reads, "LA Law." ... Ok it probably reads "Cardinal Rules" ... but seriously guys, we're tired of that one. Try "LA Law" ... please?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Worst Refereeing Calls Ever
In honor of several blown calls this college football season, one of which could have "title" implications (I use the word loosely since the BCS is about as legitimate as the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes relationship), I figured I'd list the top 10 or so worst calls of all time, at least the ones I can remember:
10. Oklahoma-Oregon. I remember thinking that Stoops was being whiny when this happened. And when Oklahoma lost to Texas, I was sure that the call (and resulting loss for Oklahoma) was moot. However, here we are with only one undefeated team and a few 1-loss teams fighting for that other spot (namely Michigan, USC, and Florida, though L'ville and Rutty are 1-loss also, and Boise State is 12-0 again). With Texas' loss on Saturday, 10-2 Oklahoma played itself into the Big-12 championship game. If they were 1-loss, they would certainly be in this discussion. I don't think they'd be ahead of Michigan or USC necessarily, but they'd have their argument. Also, impressive for Okla considering they lost their QB and RB for the season, and they're in freaking Oklahoma. Also, can we please get a freaking playoff?
9. Misheard coin flip. Thanksgiving 99, the Lions-Steelers game goes to overtime. Bettis calls Tails, the ref hears Heads. How does this happen? It's not like the ref is trying to discern between "Heads" and "Threads". Seriously? And with the lame NFL sudden death OT, the team who gets the ball first pretty much always wins. If you're bored, you can flip lots of coins here.
8.
Gant pushed off first. 1991 World Series I feel like no one else made as big a deal of this, but I really remember this. In Game 1 of the Series between the Twins and Braves, Gant singled, then took a wide turn around first. He returned to first when he saw the relay, but the Twins big fat first baseman (Kent Hrbek) pushed Gant off the bag, then tagged him out! I still don't understand how this worked, and I just looked it up, and I still don't see the justification. Something about momentum. Ridiculous. And that was a great Series, dominated by great pitching (and that Jack Morris-Glavine game 7 1-0 game), so this could have made some difference. Interestingly, this is the exact reason that Mike Sheehy quit little league. Haha.
I have this baseball card by the way. And a signed baseball from when he was with the Cards for a bit.
Oh my god! I'm watching TV, and there's a Lexus commercial (you know, with the red bow on the Lexus they do every Christmastime), and there's two guys on a driveway that are exchanging weird lines (like "someone's been a good boy" "someone certainly has" "someone's getting a good present" "yes someone is"), but I get the distinct impression that the commercial was implying that this was a gay couple! I don't know if I'm misinterpreting this. Can I get a ruling here?
7. In the Crease. I don't really care about hockey, and don't really know many players, but apparently Brett Hull illegally scored a goal for Dallas in the '99 Cup. Think offsides or something. Ok I'm bored. Isn't this girl beautiful?
6. Jeffrey Maier's catch. Actually, this may not have been as significant, since the Yanks won in 5 of the '96 ALCS, but the kid made news. Don't t
hink Jeter needed to
pad his postseason stats, but this took a double and turned it into a homer, and the refs didn't call the clear fan interference. Maier looks like a little fat brat here. Haha. Wow! He still looks like a putz. He didn't get drafted though, now he's a consultant for some minor league team. Way to go places, kid.
5. Nebraska Kick. This is the only game on the list I was actually at. 1997, Nebraska-Missouri. Mizzou is on its way to beating Nebraska for the first time in 20 years, and the first time ever beating a #1. Nebraska, down 7, drives down the field. On 3rd and goal with 4 seconds to go, Scott Frost throws a prayer up, it gets deflected, but a Nebraska receiver manages to kick it up to Matt Davidson (impressive but illegally intentional), and Nebraska scores the TD and wins in OT. They end up splitting the title with Michigan that year, and that split title led to the creation of the BCS. So blame that ref.
4. Hand of God. Argentina-England, quarters of the 86 World Cup. I love the fact that in replays, this isn't even close to anything other than blatant. And I love all the subsequent analysis of the play, as if it was possibly in doubt. Mostly I love Maradona's arrog
ance in calling the goal a "hand of god" in his postgame, and having to convince his teammates to hug him since everyone knew it was illegal, to avoid suspicion.
Is anyone watching Fox right now? Is Joe Buck high? He's waving around a little red cone, he was singing "Ebay" a few minutes ago, and did a Harry Caray impression earlier. I mean, I'm not saying I'm against this, it's pretty funny.
3. Colorado Fifth Down. Freaking Missouri refs. What did Mizzou do to deserve this? At the time, Colorado was just #12, but they went on to win the (split) "National Championship"...sense a theme here? Basically Colorado drove down, ran some plays, spiked, the ball, ran some plays, called a timeout, and somewhere in there the sideline guy didn't flip the down card (I think on the spike). No one noticed until Colorado scored, but no one was willing to do anything about it. Retards.
2. 1985 World Series, Game 6. Cardinals-Royals, separated by 250 miles of I-70. No, strin
ger, I'm not just biased, this is pretty widely considered one of the worst calls of all time. I only vaguely remember this actual event, but this was our Buckner play, and it wasn't our fault. I grew up with Don Denkinger's name usually tossed about as a profanity, and in the majority of that state he's pretty much held in the same esteem as monkeycum. Holding a 3-2 series lead, and up 1-0 in the 9th, the Cardinals were set to win their second Series in 4 years. Todd Worrell (36 saves as a rookie) was set to close, gets Jorge Orta to ground slowly to Jack Clark, who flips to Worrell, who beats Orta by a step and some. Denkinger blows the call, the Cards mentally unravel, then get blown out in Game 7. Took us another 21 years to get it back and not screw it up.
1. USA-Soviet Basketball. This gets the #1 because of the historical context that transcends sports. 1972 Summer Olympics, Munich, West Germany. Gold medal game. Height of the Cold War. Behind the Iron Curtain, we were apparently facing more than just 12 roided-up dribbling Ivan Dragos. Coached by basketball legend Henry Iba, we rolled through the tourney to the finals. We faced a pretty decent Soviet team...down by 1 with 3 seconds or so to go, Dave Cowens makes 2 free throws, even though a horn went off during his second shot (hooray for neutral West German scoreboard operators!)...the Soviets inbound, time runs out. A ref magically heard them call a timeout. They inbound again, fail to score. America celebrates. Then some FIBA official (who has no real authority in an Olympic game) decides that the commies need another chance (no idea why). They inbound again, score, and celebrate. Rifuckingdiculous. We protested, but FIBA was made up of 5 countries, 3 of which were behind the iron curtain. Guess the result? My favorite part of this is that the American's not only unanimously refused their silver medals, but wrote into their wills that no descendant can ever claim them. If you want to watch a good movie about these Olympics, rent Munich. But it's not really about the Olympics. If you want a feel good basketball story, rent Coach Carter or Glory Road, which I'm fairly certain are the same movie.
Honorable mention to:
Michael Jordan's push off in Game 6 of the 98 Finals
(the Bulls would have won anyway), Mizzou-Iowa State last week (4th and 1 game-winning QB sneak disallowed with 20 seconds left, then officials admitted mistake on Tuesday) (ok, I'm admittedly biased by putting that one here, but hasn't Mizzou had enough bad karma?), and this game of Madden two months ago where I was called out of bounds on a Hail Mary TD, challenged, saw I was right, but the call was upheld. Fuckers.
10. Oklahoma-Oregon. I remember thinking that Stoops was being whiny when this happened. And when Oklahoma lost to Texas, I was sure that the call (and resulting loss for Oklahoma) was moot. However, here we are with only one undefeated team and a few 1-loss teams fighting for that other spot (namely Michigan, USC, and Florida, though L'ville and Rutty are 1-loss also, and Boise State is 12-0 again). With Texas' loss on Saturday, 10-2 Oklahoma played itself into the Big-12 championship game. If they were 1-loss, they would certainly be in this discussion. I don't think they'd be ahead of Michigan or USC necessarily, but they'd have their argument. Also, impressive for Okla considering they lost their QB and RB for the season, and they're in freaking Oklahoma. Also, can we please get a freaking playoff?
9. Misheard coin flip. Thanksgiving 99, the Lions-Steelers game goes to overtime. Bettis calls Tails, the ref hears Heads. How does this happen? It's not like the ref is trying to discern between "Heads" and "Threads". Seriously? And with the lame NFL sudden death OT, the team who gets the ball first pretty much always wins. If you're bored, you can flip lots of coins here.
8.
Gant pushed off first. 1991 World Series I feel like no one else made as big a deal of this, but I really remember this. In Game 1 of the Series between the Twins and Braves, Gant singled, then took a wide turn around first. He returned to first when he saw the relay, but the Twins big fat first baseman (Kent Hrbek) pushed Gant off the bag, then tagged him out! I still don't understand how this worked, and I just looked it up, and I still don't see the justification. Something about momentum. Ridiculous. And that was a great Series, dominated by great pitching (and that Jack Morris-Glavine game 7 1-0 game), so this could have made some difference. Interestingly, this is the exact reason that Mike Sheehy quit little league. Haha.I have this baseball card by the way. And a signed baseball from when he was with the Cards for a bit.
Oh my god! I'm watching TV, and there's a Lexus commercial (you know, with the red bow on the Lexus they do every Christmastime), and there's two guys on a driveway that are exchanging weird lines (like "someone's been a good boy" "someone certainly has" "someone's getting a good present" "yes someone is"), but I get the distinct impression that the commercial was implying that this was a gay couple! I don't know if I'm misinterpreting this. Can I get a ruling here?
7. In the Crease. I don't really care about hockey, and don't really know many players, but apparently Brett Hull illegally scored a goal for Dallas in the '99 Cup. Think offsides or something. Ok I'm bored. Isn't this girl beautiful?
6. Jeffrey Maier's catch. Actually, this may not have been as significant, since the Yanks won in 5 of the '96 ALCS, but the kid made news. Don't t
hink Jeter needed to
pad his postseason stats, but this took a double and turned it into a homer, and the refs didn't call the clear fan interference. Maier looks like a little fat brat here. Haha. Wow! He still looks like a putz. He didn't get drafted though, now he's a consultant for some minor league team. Way to go places, kid.5. Nebraska Kick. This is the only game on the list I was actually at. 1997, Nebraska-Missouri. Mizzou is on its way to beating Nebraska for the first time in 20 years, and the first time ever beating a #1. Nebraska, down 7, drives down the field. On 3rd and goal with 4 seconds to go, Scott Frost throws a prayer up, it gets deflected, but a Nebraska receiver manages to kick it up to Matt Davidson (impressive but illegally intentional), and Nebraska scores the TD and wins in OT. They end up splitting the title with Michigan that year, and that split title led to the creation of the BCS. So blame that ref.
4. Hand of God. Argentina-England, quarters of the 86 World Cup. I love the fact that in replays, this isn't even close to anything other than blatant. And I love all the subsequent analysis of the play, as if it was possibly in doubt. Mostly I love Maradona's arrog
ance in calling the goal a "hand of god" in his postgame, and having to convince his teammates to hug him since everyone knew it was illegal, to avoid suspicion.Is anyone watching Fox right now? Is Joe Buck high? He's waving around a little red cone, he was singing "Ebay" a few minutes ago, and did a Harry Caray impression earlier. I mean, I'm not saying I'm against this, it's pretty funny.
3. Colorado Fifth Down. Freaking Missouri refs. What did Mizzou do to deserve this? At the time, Colorado was just #12, but they went on to win the (split) "National Championship"...sense a theme here? Basically Colorado drove down, ran some plays, spiked, the ball, ran some plays, called a timeout, and somewhere in there the sideline guy didn't flip the down card (I think on the spike). No one noticed until Colorado scored, but no one was willing to do anything about it. Retards.
2. 1985 World Series, Game 6. Cardinals-Royals, separated by 250 miles of I-70. No, strin
ger, I'm not just biased, this is pretty widely considered one of the worst calls of all time. I only vaguely remember this actual event, but this was our Buckner play, and it wasn't our fault. I grew up with Don Denkinger's name usually tossed about as a profanity, and in the majority of that state he's pretty much held in the same esteem as monkeycum. Holding a 3-2 series lead, and up 1-0 in the 9th, the Cardinals were set to win their second Series in 4 years. Todd Worrell (36 saves as a rookie) was set to close, gets Jorge Orta to ground slowly to Jack Clark, who flips to Worrell, who beats Orta by a step and some. Denkinger blows the call, the Cards mentally unravel, then get blown out in Game 7. Took us another 21 years to get it back and not screw it up.1. USA-Soviet Basketball. This gets the #1 because of the historical context that transcends sports. 1972 Summer Olympics, Munich, West Germany. Gold medal game. Height of the Cold War. Behind the Iron Curtain, we were apparently facing more than just 12 roided-up dribbling Ivan Dragos. Coached by basketball legend Henry Iba, we rolled through the tourney to the finals. We faced a pretty decent Soviet team...down by 1 with 3 seconds or so to go, Dave Cowens makes 2 free throws, even though a horn went off during his second shot (hooray for neutral West German scoreboard operators!)...the Soviets inbound, time runs out. A ref magically heard them call a timeout. They inbound again, fail to score. America celebrates. Then some FIBA official (who has no real authority in an Olympic game) decides that the commies need another chance (no idea why). They inbound again, score, and celebrate. Rifuckingdiculous. We protested, but FIBA was made up of 5 countries, 3 of which were behind the iron curtain. Guess the result? My favorite part of this is that the American's not only unanimously refused their silver medals, but wrote into their wills that no descendant can ever claim them. If you want to watch a good movie about these Olympics, rent Munich. But it's not really about the Olympics. If you want a feel good basketball story, rent Coach Carter or Glory Road, which I'm fairly certain are the same movie.
Honorable mention to:
Michael Jordan's push off in Game 6 of the 98 Finals
(the Bulls would have won anyway), Mizzou-Iowa State last week (4th and 1 game-winning QB sneak disallowed with 20 seconds left, then officials admitted mistake on Tuesday) (ok, I'm admittedly biased by putting that one here, but hasn't Mizzou had enough bad karma?), and this game of Madden two months ago where I was called out of bounds on a Hail Mary TD, challenged, saw I was right, but the call was upheld. Fuckers.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
My Top 5 Stocks to Short
5. Baidu.com, Inc. (Ticker: BIDU)
Baidu.com, Inc. provides Chinese language Internet search solutions. The company offers Internet search solutions and online marketing solutions. It also develops and markets Web application software; and provides related services.
(Current price: $114.51 / PE: 153.70 / Market Cap: $3.85 Billion)
4. Lazard, Ltd. (Ticker: LAZ)
Lazard, Ltd., through its subsidiaries, operates as a financial advisory and asset management firm. The company operates primarily in two segments, Financial Advisory and Asset Management.
(Current price: $45.02 / PE: 21.7 / Market Cap: $1.69 Billion)
3. Amazon.com, Inc (Ticker: AMZN)
Amazon.com, Inc. operates Web sites that sell various products and services, which primarily include apparel, shoes, and accessories; health and personal care; baby care products; books; camera and photography, etc.
(Current price: $42.91 / PE: 62.5 / Market Cap: $17.68 Billion)
2. iRobot Corp (Ticker: IRBT)
iRobot Corporation engages in the design, development, and sale of robots for the consumer, military, government security, and law enforcement markets.
(Current price: $19.68 / PE: 85.9 / Market Cap: $467 Million)
1. Crocs, Inc. (Ticker: CROX)
Crocs, Inc. engages in the design, manufacture, and marketing of footwear for men, women, and children under the ‘crocs’ brand worldwide. The company produces soft and lightweight, nonmarking, and slip- and odor-resistant shoes,
(Current price: $42.29 / PE: 33.9 / Market Cap: $1.65 Billion)
Baidu.com, Inc. provides Chinese language Internet search solutions. The company offers Internet search solutions and online marketing solutions. It also develops and markets Web application software; and provides related services.
(Current price: $114.51 / PE: 153.70 / Market Cap: $3.85 Billion)
4. Lazard, Ltd. (Ticker: LAZ)
Lazard, Ltd., through its subsidiaries, operates as a financial advisory and asset management firm. The company operates primarily in two segments, Financial Advisory and Asset Management.
(Current price: $45.02 / PE: 21.7 / Market Cap: $1.69 Billion)
3. Amazon.com, Inc (Ticker: AMZN)
Amazon.com, Inc. operates Web sites that sell various products and services, which primarily include apparel, shoes, and accessories; health and personal care; baby care products; books; camera and photography, etc.
(Current price: $42.91 / PE: 62.5 / Market Cap: $17.68 Billion)
2. iRobot Corp (Ticker: IRBT)
iRobot Corporation engages in the design, development, and sale of robots for the consumer, military, government security, and law enforcement markets.
(Current price: $19.68 / PE: 85.9 / Market Cap: $467 Million)
1. Crocs, Inc. (Ticker: CROX)
Crocs, Inc. engages in the design, manufacture, and marketing of footwear for men, women, and children under the ‘crocs’ brand worldwide. The company produces soft and lightweight, nonmarking, and slip- and odor-resistant shoes,
(Current price: $42.29 / PE: 33.9 / Market Cap: $1.65 Billion)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Flickr Top 5 : Bosom
Top 5 pictures you get when you search for "bosom" on flickr...
Comment: What??? How did that get filed under "bosom." Gross. And wrong.
Comment: Yes. Now that is what I was expecting from a search like this. Not two eight year olds... seriously, I wasn't looking for eight year olds.
Comment: Ok. Just because "Bosom Buddies" is a phrase, doesn't mean "Bosom Enemies" is. That's not how things work. You can't just inverse one ingredient and have everything work. This reminds me of that movie, My Giant. The director clearly thought, "hey! midgets are funny, so what about 7 foot 7 guys who play for the Bulletts!" That didn't work out very well. Nor did this explanation.
Comment: That is a cave. Not a breast. I think breasts are the literal opposite of caves.
Comment: Ok, so they actually used "Bosom Pals" as the title of this - which is kind of correct ... except for the fact that they said Bosom PALS?!?!?! Fobs. Gotta Love'm.
Comment: What??? How did that get filed under "bosom." Gross. And wrong.
Comment: Yes. Now that is what I was expecting from a search like this. Not two eight year olds... seriously, I wasn't looking for eight year olds.
Comment: Ok. Just because "Bosom Buddies" is a phrase, doesn't mean "Bosom Enemies" is. That's not how things work. You can't just inverse one ingredient and have everything work. This reminds me of that movie, My Giant. The director clearly thought, "hey! midgets are funny, so what about 7 foot 7 guys who play for the Bulletts!" That didn't work out very well. Nor did this explanation.
Comment: That is a cave. Not a breast. I think breasts are the literal opposite of caves.
Comment: Ok, so they actually used "Bosom Pals" as the title of this - which is kind of correct ... except for the fact that they said Bosom PALS?!?!?! Fobs. Gotta Love'm.
My Top 5 Fantasy Baseball Ripoffs
Since Justin Morneau won the MVP today, my fantasy team can officially be crowned as my greatest life achievement. A Fantasy Baseball Championship. A Cy Young, and two MVPs. It doesn't get better than that. Well it does, but it's really hard. Anyways ... here's a fantasy baseball related list...
5. 2006 - (received) Justin Morneau for Nick Swisher and Jeff Francoeur.
This one's not so much a standard ripoff - one side didn't get a huge benefit while damning the other to hapless failure. Actually, early in the season this looked like at terrible deal for me (as I acquired Morneau). A prolonged slump by the Canadian slugger, coupled with Swisher's early season 50 homerun pace made it look like the luck of the Vamsi was up to its old tricks ... but as the season turned, and June became July, Morneau began to lay the hammer to the AL Central. Finishing with HR/RBI numbers in the David Ortiz ballpark and a Jeteresque batting average, Morneau put up an MVP performance, but more importantly, lead my team to it's first Fantasy Baseball Championship.
4. 2005 - (received) Mark Teixera for Scott Rolen
This one's just embarassing. It really is...
3. 2003 - (received) Jeff Kent for Jim Thome and Carl Crawford
In 2003, with a comfortable lead, and plenty of room for error, I looked at my fantasy team and thought that second base was my only real weakness. So what did I do to address this need? Trade for a former MVP, coming off a great year, and primed for huge stats in a miniature ballpark. This was a midseason trade actually, so Kent had already posted good numbers, while Thome and Crawford were mashing and stealing respectively. After the trade, Kent broke his hand, Thome hit 23 jacks after the break, and Crawford finished with 40+ steals and a .300 BA. I lost the league by 2 points.
2. 2004 - (received) Hank Blalock for Kevin Brown
Coming off a streak where he had allowed 8 runs in 8 games, and posted 9 consecutive wins, Brown was at the height of his value. So I dealt him, for Hank "the Spank" Blalock. Brown proceded to fall apart (physically) and post 1 win over his remaining month and a half. Blalock hit a steady .270+ and produced a fair share of Arlington inspired runs, rbis, and hrs. Good times.
1. 2003 - (received) Jason Schmidt for Russ Ortiz
This was Schmidt's first outstanding year. And it was the year after Russ Ortiz's last. It was also my first, and only, trade with the league's proverbial "donkey." You know, the guy who everyone tries to ripoff? Yeah. Pwned.
5. 2006 - (received) Justin Morneau for Nick Swisher and Jeff Francoeur.
This one's not so much a standard ripoff - one side didn't get a huge benefit while damning the other to hapless failure. Actually, early in the season this looked like at terrible deal for me (as I acquired Morneau). A prolonged slump by the Canadian slugger, coupled with Swisher's early season 50 homerun pace made it look like the luck of the Vamsi was up to its old tricks ... but as the season turned, and June became July, Morneau began to lay the hammer to the AL Central. Finishing with HR/RBI numbers in the David Ortiz ballpark and a Jeteresque batting average, Morneau put up an MVP performance, but more importantly, lead my team to it's first Fantasy Baseball Championship.
4. 2005 - (received) Mark Teixera for Scott Rolen
This one's just embarassing. It really is...
3. 2003 - (received) Jeff Kent for Jim Thome and Carl Crawford
In 2003, with a comfortable lead, and plenty of room for error, I looked at my fantasy team and thought that second base was my only real weakness. So what did I do to address this need? Trade for a former MVP, coming off a great year, and primed for huge stats in a miniature ballpark. This was a midseason trade actually, so Kent had already posted good numbers, while Thome and Crawford were mashing and stealing respectively. After the trade, Kent broke his hand, Thome hit 23 jacks after the break, and Crawford finished with 40+ steals and a .300 BA. I lost the league by 2 points.
2. 2004 - (received) Hank Blalock for Kevin Brown
Coming off a streak where he had allowed 8 runs in 8 games, and posted 9 consecutive wins, Brown was at the height of his value. So I dealt him, for Hank "the Spank" Blalock. Brown proceded to fall apart (physically) and post 1 win over his remaining month and a half. Blalock hit a steady .270+ and produced a fair share of Arlington inspired runs, rbis, and hrs. Good times.
1. 2003 - (received) Jason Schmidt for Russ Ortiz
This was Schmidt's first outstanding year. And it was the year after Russ Ortiz's last. It was also my first, and only, trade with the league's proverbial "donkey." You know, the guy who everyone tries to ripoff? Yeah. Pwned.
Airport Rankings
Hmm, since travel season is basically underway (I almost typed underwear) , I figured I'd chime in with my list of airports to love and avoid. I'm sticking with domestic, because a) no one's really flying international for Thanksgiving, and b) it's a fairly predictable list...Singapore-Hong Kong-Dubai-Amsterdam-Munich for the good, all Indian airports for the bad. Plus I could go on for pages and pages about the loud dirty cespool that is the Bombay International Airport. And you really don't want me to. To go off on a minor tangent, why aren't the American airports as nice as those international ones? Like in Singapore (where I once won $400 on an airport game show) or Dubai, you can get a nice Westin room to nap for 6 hours during layovers for like $20. Silly Americans. Anyway. Also, when are they going to put a movie theater or amusement park in an airport? Do they have one somewhere? Am I missing this?
I‘d rather be in Bombay:
25. Atlanta. If you've ever been to the baggage claim, you know what I mean. Think about this logically: if you're the busiest airport in the world, efficiency is very important. At LAX, you have, say 7 different terminals (international, united, american, delta, southwest, random domestics, etc). You arrive at your terminal, go down to the baggage claim, get your bag, and have someone pick you up. You're only dealing with approximately 1/7 of the total baggage and airport traffic to find your ride/get out. Atlanta, on the other hand, (a busier airport) decides that it's a good idea to put ALL the effing baggage claims in one place. You get off your plane, ride a monorail that herds ALL the arriving passengers to once place. Meanwhile, you always beat your luggage, because while the monorail is fairly quick, you have to wait for a man on a 5 mph cart to drag your luggage across 2 miles of parallel terminals. Then you deal with a shitshow that rivals the chaos of a Korean Dog Market (I'm guessing). Then you have to find your person, and get through the traffic of everyone leaving from one place. Thank god for cell phones, otherwise you'd never find someone you were trying to meet. I have, in fact, been paged there, when I was meeting a family friend, and we ended up running around missing each other for an hour. Fortunately, my sister just moved to Atlanta (a fine city otherwise), and I get to deal with that airport regularly. Yay!
I’d rather be in Iraq:
24. Miami. The last time I was there it was really loud and there was construction going on everywhere, security lines were long, and it had a confusing layout. And horrible traffic flow in/out of the airport. From what I hear, the Fort Lauderdale airport is much nicer. On the plus side, you're in Miami. Also, it was on the receiving end of that flight in Red Eye, so major minus points.
23. Kansas City. Never, ever, ever get stuck here. It's like 25 miles north of the city, out in bumblefuck, and there is absolutely nothing to do. It's small, shaped like a 3 leaf clover, but each terminal is equally barren. It's pretty quick though, since they do individual security for each group of 3-4 gates. So fast to arrive, but never leave from here. You'll end up trying to hijack a plane out of boredom. (...)
22. Boston. Sorry, Stringer. It's old, squeaky, dirty, small, cramped, and has no facilities or shops. It's Fenway, but without the charm or history. I'd much rather fly into Providence. Or eat poop.
I‘d rather watch Stanford football (ok maybe not):
21. Dulles. National’s nice, but expensive and has fewer flights. Dulles is a pit of dispair. One of the terminals has you walking through some 800 foot hanger that seems utterly pointless to me. No real food options, dirty, odd layout, and there’s not much to do. Once we waited for 10 minutes to deplane because the ground crew couldn’t figure out how to attach the stairs to the plane. Um, don’t they do that, like, every 10 minutes? Fly into Baltimore or Reagan if you can.
20. Philadelphia. I'm not really sure how bad the airport was, but the staff there was just really unhelpful, and the layout was a bit confusing, and it took far too long to figure out how to get into the city. Brotherly Love my ass.
19. Cincinnati. It's got an amazing art collection. On the other hand, you're in Cincinnati.
18. STL. Since TWA got bought out, American sorta downsized the airport. It's not a bad airport, and the new Southwest terminal is really nice, but blah. Used to be pretty bustling, now it's pretty much dead after 8PM. Good beer selection though. One of the few that carries Boulevard.
Not bad, but room for improvement:
17. Honolulu. It's a bit old and run down, and something seems a little fishy about the locals hanging around, but it has nice gardens, and the hot women handing out leis are a nice touch. They should have this everywhere, like having rich old Jews welcome you in Miami, or C-list actors in Los Angeles, or migrant workers in Fresno.
16. Dallas. It's overly huge, but it has wireless internet everywhere, like 4 Admiral's clubs (which is good if you are American, like me) and a nifty indoor monorail system. Minus points for having something like a 6 hour overnight flight to Miami in that horrible 2005 film, Red Eye.
15. Sea-Tac. I have a really early memory from when I was like 7 of flying here one Christmas break and being really excited about riding a monorail in an airport. And they had a huge Christmas tree up. That's about all I have to say about this airport, but I'm pretty sure it's still a good airport. Oh! I did fly into there (and out, same day) for the Stanford-UW football game in '01, had a bit of a security line, but that was after 9/11, so who knows.
Can‘t really go wrong:
14. LAX. I think I may bump this up, since for such a huge airport it's well maintained. Pretty convenient to get to (ie the East Coast airports are usually farther out of the city...you can get from LAX to the sunset strip in 20 minutes), is pretty efficient (you can bypass terminals with nifty shortcuts), has a nice revolving restaurant (that is ass expensive). I guess they just need to renovate some of the older terminals. I did have dinner here with NBA rookie James Augustine, so that was cool.
13. JFK. Just really dilapidated. Some of the terminals/baggage claim is a bit confusing. But major bonus points for the Air India entrance. I don't know if the other international airlines are like this, but it's got a crazy setup. You walk in through a ground level entrance into what appears to be a hotel lobby, complete with fountains and gaudy gold statues that Indians love. Maroon crushed velvet couches everywhere. You check in at a front desk, then go up an escalator, assuming this will lead to a nice room. Instead, you are backended into this giant warehouse looking sterile terminal, that's mostly empty except for little Indian kids running around. It's just really really odd. I haven't been through that in about 15 years, but I dearly hope it's still the same. Actually, the JetBlue terminal is nice, and has free internet. And bonus points for keeping the big TWA sign up on that 1960's futuristic Terminal 5 (I think they use it in movies). Actually scratch this, JFK belongs on the good list.
Sigh of relief when Orbitz sends me through here:
12. Phoenix. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it’s a nice layover airport. It’s newish, clean, has a lot of restaurants and bars where I seem to end up killing time a lot. Plus I used to run into people I knew here all the time, and I’m not sure why. Once I ran into a screw-your-roommate date that didn't quite work out. Awkward.
11. SFO. Very cool airport, I like the architecture. Needs better transportation between terminals though. Good restaurants (like a sushi place) and quirky shops you'd expect in Norcal. Good flight selection too. On the other hand, I found a security loophole once when I came back from India and had a 6 hour layover so they didn't ever check my bags at customs. But I did go see Ocean's Eleven during that layover with Noah Veltman.
10. Denver. I wasn't sure which list to put this on, since it's a huge effing warehouse, and until the last few years, had too many empty gates. Still, it's the biggest airport in the country (random, huh?) and has a lot to do. Lots of internet places, food, practically a mall, etc. If you're going to be holed up for a while, this or O'Hare are pretty good places for it. Question. If you score here, are you automatically in the mile high club?
9. Vegas. What happens in the Las Vegas airport, stays in the Las Vegas airport.
The Hot List:
T8-5. Miscellaneous California Airports (Ontario, Burbank, San Jose, Orange County)...they're all very well maintained, constantly being rebuilt or renovated such that none of them are older than 15 years old (except maybe Burbank, which is now being renovated). They're probably as clean or cleaner than any of the other airports on this list. San Jose used to be a tiny dump, but now it's expanded and is nice. Plus, all of these airports fly everywhere without having to go through LAX or SFO or anything, and OC/SJ have some international flights too.
4. CoMo. As hole-in-the-wall as it gets. Two gates, and two destinations (KC and STL). Actually maybe Chicago too. But it's a great 19 minute flight to STL, and 24 to KC (22 and 21 on the way in, because of wind). You never have to wait for baggage. You get the same person to check you in, run your security, and sometimes, act as stewardess. You don't lose cell phone service on the flight. And the kicker, if you're running late, you can call the airport and they'll hold the flight for a few minutes for you. What's not to love?
Rockin like a Disco:
3. Charlotte. I've only been there once or twice, but it's extremely clean and has tons of shops/restaurants (inside and) outside of security, which is key in the post 9/11 era, so families and friends can actually have something to do. I almost missed my flight getting distracted here.
2. Long Beach. Probably my favorite airport in the world. It looks like it's still in it's original 1920's form, when Howard Hughes did crap there, and it was the golden age of Hollywood and all that jazz. You can practically picture the zeppelins tethered to the field (also, there are blimps there, which makes the mental imagery easier). It's tiny (4 gates), you walk out to your plane. But it has a cool museum upstairs with a nice little diner type restaurant where you can watch everything. Only gets a few airlines (American, JetBlue, and AmWest I think) but it's pretty convenient. Cheap parking and friendly people. Bonus points: celebs use this airport sometime since it's quieter and quicker, and of course, Snoop.
1. O'Hare. The standard by which the big American airports can be judged...busiest (tied with Atlanta) airport, but still very efficient. Clean and modern. Gets you places on time, lots of good bookstores and clothing/electronics stores and restaurants. Very clean. Bonus points for Chicago-style pizza and good sports bars (I got sloshed watching the Fiesta Bowl here last year). Trivia question...why is O'Hare's code ORD?
Answer: ORD stands for Orchard Field, the original Chicago Airport which existed there. The more you know!
Oh! I just remembered! This is the site of my epic "I have a massive massive boner...I mean pizza" voicemail I left my cousin when I was still drunk from Missouri, and I ended up waiting in a line for 30 minutes for a flight to St. Louis instead of LA. Awesome.
Any others I’m missing? I know Minny and Detroit are alright. Houston’s airports are kinda small, not sure if New Orleans is around anymore, and I’m guessing they’re just discovering flight in Alabama.
I‘d rather be in Bombay:
25. Atlanta. If you've ever been to the baggage claim, you know what I mean. Think about this logically: if you're the busiest airport in the world, efficiency is very important. At LAX, you have, say 7 different terminals (international, united, american, delta, southwest, random domestics, etc). You arrive at your terminal, go down to the baggage claim, get your bag, and have someone pick you up. You're only dealing with approximately 1/7 of the total baggage and airport traffic to find your ride/get out. Atlanta, on the other hand, (a busier airport) decides that it's a good idea to put ALL the effing baggage claims in one place. You get off your plane, ride a monorail that herds ALL the arriving passengers to once place. Meanwhile, you always beat your luggage, because while the monorail is fairly quick, you have to wait for a man on a 5 mph cart to drag your luggage across 2 miles of parallel terminals. Then you deal with a shitshow that rivals the chaos of a Korean Dog Market (I'm guessing). Then you have to find your person, and get through the traffic of everyone leaving from one place. Thank god for cell phones, otherwise you'd never find someone you were trying to meet. I have, in fact, been paged there, when I was meeting a family friend, and we ended up running around missing each other for an hour. Fortunately, my sister just moved to Atlanta (a fine city otherwise), and I get to deal with that airport regularly. Yay!
I’d rather be in Iraq:
24. Miami. The last time I was there it was really loud and there was construction going on everywhere, security lines were long, and it had a confusing layout. And horrible traffic flow in/out of the airport. From what I hear, the Fort Lauderdale airport is much nicer. On the plus side, you're in Miami. Also, it was on the receiving end of that flight in Red Eye, so major minus points.
23. Kansas City. Never, ever, ever get stuck here. It's like 25 miles north of the city, out in bumblefuck, and there is absolutely nothing to do. It's small, shaped like a 3 leaf clover, but each terminal is equally barren. It's pretty quick though, since they do individual security for each group of 3-4 gates. So fast to arrive, but never leave from here. You'll end up trying to hijack a plane out of boredom. (...)
22. Boston. Sorry, Stringer. It's old, squeaky, dirty, small, cramped, and has no facilities or shops. It's Fenway, but without the charm or history. I'd much rather fly into Providence. Or eat poop.
I‘d rather watch Stanford football (ok maybe not):
21. Dulles. National’s nice, but expensive and has fewer flights. Dulles is a pit of dispair. One of the terminals has you walking through some 800 foot hanger that seems utterly pointless to me. No real food options, dirty, odd layout, and there’s not much to do. Once we waited for 10 minutes to deplane because the ground crew couldn’t figure out how to attach the stairs to the plane. Um, don’t they do that, like, every 10 minutes? Fly into Baltimore or Reagan if you can.
20. Philadelphia. I'm not really sure how bad the airport was, but the staff there was just really unhelpful, and the layout was a bit confusing, and it took far too long to figure out how to get into the city. Brotherly Love my ass.
19. Cincinnati. It's got an amazing art collection. On the other hand, you're in Cincinnati.
18. STL. Since TWA got bought out, American sorta downsized the airport. It's not a bad airport, and the new Southwest terminal is really nice, but blah. Used to be pretty bustling, now it's pretty much dead after 8PM. Good beer selection though. One of the few that carries Boulevard.
Not bad, but room for improvement:
17. Honolulu. It's a bit old and run down, and something seems a little fishy about the locals hanging around, but it has nice gardens, and the hot women handing out leis are a nice touch. They should have this everywhere, like having rich old Jews welcome you in Miami, or C-list actors in Los Angeles, or migrant workers in Fresno.
16. Dallas. It's overly huge, but it has wireless internet everywhere, like 4 Admiral's clubs (which is good if you are American, like me) and a nifty indoor monorail system. Minus points for having something like a 6 hour overnight flight to Miami in that horrible 2005 film, Red Eye.
15. Sea-Tac. I have a really early memory from when I was like 7 of flying here one Christmas break and being really excited about riding a monorail in an airport. And they had a huge Christmas tree up. That's about all I have to say about this airport, but I'm pretty sure it's still a good airport. Oh! I did fly into there (and out, same day) for the Stanford-UW football game in '01, had a bit of a security line, but that was after 9/11, so who knows.
Can‘t really go wrong:
14. LAX. I think I may bump this up, since for such a huge airport it's well maintained. Pretty convenient to get to (ie the East Coast airports are usually farther out of the city...you can get from LAX to the sunset strip in 20 minutes), is pretty efficient (you can bypass terminals with nifty shortcuts), has a nice revolving restaurant (that is ass expensive). I guess they just need to renovate some of the older terminals. I did have dinner here with NBA rookie James Augustine, so that was cool.
13. JFK. Just really dilapidated. Some of the terminals/baggage claim is a bit confusing. But major bonus points for the Air India entrance. I don't know if the other international airlines are like this, but it's got a crazy setup. You walk in through a ground level entrance into what appears to be a hotel lobby, complete with fountains and gaudy gold statues that Indians love. Maroon crushed velvet couches everywhere. You check in at a front desk, then go up an escalator, assuming this will lead to a nice room. Instead, you are backended into this giant warehouse looking sterile terminal, that's mostly empty except for little Indian kids running around. It's just really really odd. I haven't been through that in about 15 years, but I dearly hope it's still the same. Actually, the JetBlue terminal is nice, and has free internet. And bonus points for keeping the big TWA sign up on that 1960's futuristic Terminal 5 (I think they use it in movies). Actually scratch this, JFK belongs on the good list.
Sigh of relief when Orbitz sends me through here:
12. Phoenix. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it’s a nice layover airport. It’s newish, clean, has a lot of restaurants and bars where I seem to end up killing time a lot. Plus I used to run into people I knew here all the time, and I’m not sure why. Once I ran into a screw-your-roommate date that didn't quite work out. Awkward.
11. SFO. Very cool airport, I like the architecture. Needs better transportation between terminals though. Good restaurants (like a sushi place) and quirky shops you'd expect in Norcal. Good flight selection too. On the other hand, I found a security loophole once when I came back from India and had a 6 hour layover so they didn't ever check my bags at customs. But I did go see Ocean's Eleven during that layover with Noah Veltman.
10. Denver. I wasn't sure which list to put this on, since it's a huge effing warehouse, and until the last few years, had too many empty gates. Still, it's the biggest airport in the country (random, huh?) and has a lot to do. Lots of internet places, food, practically a mall, etc. If you're going to be holed up for a while, this or O'Hare are pretty good places for it. Question. If you score here, are you automatically in the mile high club?
9. Vegas. What happens in the Las Vegas airport, stays in the Las Vegas airport.
The Hot List:
T8-5. Miscellaneous California Airports (Ontario, Burbank, San Jose, Orange County)...they're all very well maintained, constantly being rebuilt or renovated such that none of them are older than 15 years old (except maybe Burbank, which is now being renovated). They're probably as clean or cleaner than any of the other airports on this list. San Jose used to be a tiny dump, but now it's expanded and is nice. Plus, all of these airports fly everywhere without having to go through LAX or SFO or anything, and OC/SJ have some international flights too.
4. CoMo. As hole-in-the-wall as it gets. Two gates, and two destinations (KC and STL). Actually maybe Chicago too. But it's a great 19 minute flight to STL, and 24 to KC (22 and 21 on the way in, because of wind). You never have to wait for baggage. You get the same person to check you in, run your security, and sometimes, act as stewardess. You don't lose cell phone service on the flight. And the kicker, if you're running late, you can call the airport and they'll hold the flight for a few minutes for you. What's not to love?
Rockin like a Disco:
3. Charlotte. I've only been there once or twice, but it's extremely clean and has tons of shops/restaurants (inside and) outside of security, which is key in the post 9/11 era, so families and friends can actually have something to do. I almost missed my flight getting distracted here.
2. Long Beach. Probably my favorite airport in the world. It looks like it's still in it's original 1920's form, when Howard Hughes did crap there, and it was the golden age of Hollywood and all that jazz. You can practically picture the zeppelins tethered to the field (also, there are blimps there, which makes the mental imagery easier). It's tiny (4 gates), you walk out to your plane. But it has a cool museum upstairs with a nice little diner type restaurant where you can watch everything. Only gets a few airlines (American, JetBlue, and AmWest I think) but it's pretty convenient. Cheap parking and friendly people. Bonus points: celebs use this airport sometime since it's quieter and quicker, and of course, Snoop.
1. O'Hare. The standard by which the big American airports can be judged...busiest (tied with Atlanta) airport, but still very efficient. Clean and modern. Gets you places on time, lots of good bookstores and clothing/electronics stores and restaurants. Very clean. Bonus points for Chicago-style pizza and good sports bars (I got sloshed watching the Fiesta Bowl here last year). Trivia question...why is O'Hare's code ORD?
Answer: ORD stands for Orchard Field, the original Chicago Airport which existed there. The more you know!
Oh! I just remembered! This is the site of my epic "I have a massive massive boner...I mean pizza" voicemail I left my cousin when I was still drunk from Missouri, and I ended up waiting in a line for 30 minutes for a flight to St. Louis instead of LA. Awesome.
Any others I’m missing? I know Minny and Detroit are alright. Houston’s airports are kinda small, not sure if New Orleans is around anymore, and I’m guessing they’re just discovering flight in Alabama.
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